Friday, March 12, 2010


So sorry it has been so long since I have blogged. Life has been absolutely crazy! We had the staff retreat last weekend so everyone flew in from Mesa, St. Louis, Germany...and we had a big fun party! Hahaha we had an amazing retreat and it was very relaxing. It was so good to see all the missionaries again and meet all the staff that I have talked to on the phone but never actually had a face to go with it.

Fr. Oscar from South Florida led the retreat for us. One night he led us through a meditation called The Healing of Memories. Basically you close your eyes and you imagine yourself infront of the house you grew up in. Then you walk in and go to your room. He told us to find our safe place in the room...mine was weirdly in between the door frame of the closet. I think that was my safe place because I use to always have my toys jam packed into the tiny closet and I would sit right outside of it and play. im sitting in my safe place and Fr. Oscar starts telling me that all these people come in one at a time; mom, dad, sisters, grandparents, etc. They all start apologizing for things and saying they love you. I was my nine year old self so by this point my parents were still (and still are) my heroes so I had no idea why they were apologizing to me. So quickly I just began to play and enjoy being in my house. I moved away from this house when I was 9 and I was devastated! I still love that house! I love how my family was always on top of each other. I loved the old brown couches. I loved the random back door we had that we never used. I loved my pink and green room. I loved my neighborhood. Most every memory I have in that house is happy because I was probably to oblivious to notice the bad stuff. (I am noticing I am pretty oblivious sometimes) So I went around playing dress up, playing on my porch with my cats, playing mail, barbies, church, etc. any game I use to play. So then Fr. Oscar said that the one person I did not want to see walked through the door. It was this very dark figure who represented the devil to me. Why was the devil walking through my room? I was praying into it when I realized that he is the reason for all my sin...I can blame no one for the sin I have fallen into, not a single person who walked through the door before him. It was a really cool thing to realize because I can change myself but I can't change another person. Knowing that I do not have grudges towards anyone is so nice and knowing that I am not the same person as I was even 6 months ago comforted me. Falling into the devils temptations were so easy for me before I surrendered my life to God and now it is not so easy for him. Praise GOD!!!

Alright so I am going to start something new....Each blog I am going to recommend a book, or song, or something to you! So today I want to recommend the band Gungor and the song "We Will Run to You." SOOOO GOOODDD!!!! I love running to this song. It is 9 minutes long and has an amazing instrumental. I find that instrumental music helps distract me when I am running. It takes me to a better place until I reach my running high!

Prayer Request: Please pray for Chris and Erik (my missionary brothers) who are in Haiti right now and Stephen and Tim who will be going on tuesday! Pray for the people of Haiti as well who have created a permanent home in my heart! HOPE!!!!

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