Mission in the Mountains

2010-03-30T16:01:00.001-07:00

three new blogs below!!!

Gazing

2010-03-30T16:00:00.002-07:00

Fr. Paul, a priest at Holy Spirit Prep High School in Atlanta, was the priest for our girls retreat this weekend. On Palm Sunday He celebrated mass and shared a really good message with all of us. He spoke mainly about the part in the Gospel that read, “The Lord turned and looked at Peter…And Peter went out and wept bitterly.” LK 22:61-62. Fr. Paul asked us what we thought Jesus’ gaze looked like. Was it angry? Were His eyes rolling because Peter did not believe that he would deny Jesus? Were they crying? No. They were full of mercy. Peter looked into Jesus’ eyes after denying Him and found forgiveness and mercy. Fr. Paul then went on to talk about how Judas intentionally gave Jesus a kiss on the cheek so he would not have to look in Jesus’ eyes. Judas steered clear of the vision because he knew he would not be able to go through with his plan. Judas knew he would see mercy and understanding eyes that would be hard to deceive. Oh if only he had looked in Jesus’ eyes?

I have been thinking a lot about this message over the past couple days. I think I use to be really fearful to look into Jesus’ eyes because I knew my life would have to change. As I have begun to gaze into His eyes though, I have found my salvation, happiness, joy, mission, love, forgiveness, etc. I cannot turn away from His mercy! As we are now in Holy week and preparing for the death and resurrection of our Lord, let us gaze into His eyes and truly seek His mercy that He so willing died on the cross to give us. As it said in Liturgy of the Hours this morning, “My servant, The Just One, will justify many by taking their sins on himself.” He longs for your gaze!!!!

St. Monica's Girl Retreat

2010-03-30T16:00:00.001-07:00

This past weekend the missionary girls were so blessed to help put on a retreat for St. Monica’s Life Teen girls. I have been sitting here for the last ten minutes trying to figure out what to say about how absolutely amazing this weekend was but I have no words. There were so many miracles and movements of the Holy Spirit that I was able to be a witness too that I will never forget. JJ told me that I need to just pick on highlight and write about it. So that is what I am going to do.

The theme of the retreat was FIAT which worked out perfectly because the retreat started the day after the annunciation. We gave talks about the different identities God calls women to be and how we are called to say YES to them just like Mary did. I began on friday night by talking about how God is pursuing you constantly. Sara spoke on being a daughter, Haylee on being a handmaid, Paola on Sister, and Megan on being the Bride of Christ. The girls were so open and so excited to dive right into these identities and the love God has for them. Every talk was so blessed by the Holy Spirit flowing through our words. After Paola’s talk was probably the time that most stuck out to me. Paola spoke about how we are responsible of leading each other to heaven, especially our sisters, through words, actions, blessings, etc. We entered into a time of adoration with the kneeler right on the altar in front of Jesus. One by one the girls walked up and knelt face to face with Jesus and then their sisters would be behind them praying for them. EVERY GIRL WENT UP!! Every girl encountered Jesus FACE TO FACE!!! They gazed into Him and knew that they could never be the same. It was so amazing that after they moved off the kneeler for the next girl to go up, they all just stayed and gathered around the altar and did not return to their seats. It was such an emotion night with so much prayer and blessings pouring out on everyone. The adoration lasted almost 3 hours and it felt like thirty minutes. We had a debrief session afterwards and it was amazing to hear how God was moving in these girls life. It was about 8 of the girls first retreat. Gosh I don’t think words can really explain what happened. And this was just one of the amazing moments!!!

Mission of the Redeemer (revisited)

2010-03-30T15:58:00.000-07:00

There has been so much going on here at Covecrest but it is amazing how through all the doing I have still found time to be. The spirit of my prayer has been on fire lately. I have been enjoying so much spending time with the Lord as often as I physically can in the chapel as well as during my daily activities. I truly know now what St. Therese was talking about when she had no words to describe the things the Lord was doing in her heart. My encounters with the Lord have left me without words. My sisters and I are all training for a half marathon at the end of April (Country Music Marathon) and my running has turned into an amazing prayer time for me. But through it all I have been hearing God calling me deeper into BEING and asking me if my DOING is really helping me to grow? And if it isn’t then how can I make it an opportunity for growth? I have been praying through this for about a week and it has brought me back to Mission of the Redeemer, Pope John Paul II’s encyclical. As missionaries we were asked to read the encyclical before beginning our mission year. I read it like I would any assigned reading, kind of zoning out at times and not really retaining much. After six months of God filling my heart with an unending desire for mission, the encyclical has come alive for me and I cannot stop reading it. On the very first page John Paul quotes Corinthians saying, “Woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel.” WOW!!! It is my responsibility to be preaching the Good News with my whole being at every moment of everyday. Of course I have heard this plenty before but after two straight weeks of DOING I had to evaluate myself and see if that is what I was actually doing. Was I witnessing to the gospel every minute to the youth ministers, spring break work groups, visitors, retreat groups, etc? I realized that God was calling me deeper into my prayer at this moment to make sure that my doing was coming out of prayer. It all has to flow out of prayer because prayer is where I always encounter the Lord and I must know Him before I can preach Him. As a Covecrest staff and missionaries we have been trying to pray before each meal we serve, each work project we do, each task we undertake because our work MUST flow out of prayer and BEING present to the Lord! Mission of the Redeemer brought me back to what BEING a missionary meant again instead of the DOING of mission (which is very important but I must first be present to the LORD). Erik even started us having Mission of the Redeemer lunches…less idol conversation.

2010-03-23T14:12:00.001-07:00

I promise when I have a moment to process what God has been doing to my heart, I will let you all know. Know that my heart is overflowing with His love and I do not think I have words to describe it (kind of like St. Therese).

Song: All of Creation- MercyME

2010-03-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

1 Cor 15:10 For By the grace of God I am who I am.

The End!

Random

2010-03-12T15:15:00.000-08:00

Alright so this is going to be really random BUT I was thinking yesterday about emotions and how most emotions usually inspire some kind of release. For example, sadness makes me want to release tears, anger makes me want to scream, joy makes me want to laugh, happiness makes me want to sing, etc. All have some form of release. Sometimes I just long to feel that release. I think that is why when I am sad I just feel like watching a girlie chick flick that I KNOW is going to make me cry, or when I am happy I will listen to a song that I LOVE to sing...and living in the middle of the woods is really helpful when I want to scream (this only happened once though and it was not because I was angry...I was on the eight day silent retreat and just wanted to be loud!)

Song: NEEDTOBREATHE (anything by them) while I was thining about this "Come Lay It Down" was playing on the radio....The Outsiders is a great CD though!!!

EEKK!!! SORRY!!

2010-03-12T14:55:00.000-08:00

So sorry it has been so long since I have blogged. Life has been absolutely crazy! We had the staff retreat last weekend so everyone flew in from Mesa, St. Louis, Germany...and we had a big fun party! Hahaha we had an amazing retreat and it was very relaxing. It was so good to see all the missionaries again and meet all the staff that I have talked to on the phone but never actually had a face to go with it.

Fr. Oscar from South Florida led the retreat for us. One night he led us through a meditation called The Healing of Memories. Basically you close your eyes and you imagine yourself infront of the house you grew up in. Then you walk in and go to your room. He told us to find our safe place in the room...mine was weirdly in between the door frame of the closet. I think that was my safe place because I use to always have my toys jam packed into the tiny closet and I would sit right outside of it and play. Anyway...so im sitting in my safe place and Fr. Oscar starts telling me that all these people come in one at a time; mom, dad, sisters, grandparents, etc. They all start apologizing for things and saying they love you. I was my nine year old self so by this point my parents were still (and still are) my heroes so I had no idea why they were apologizing to me. So quickly I just began to play and enjoy being in my house. I moved away from this house when I was 9 and I was devastated! I still love that house! I love how my family was always on top of each other. I loved the old brown couches. I loved the random back door we had that we never used. I loved my pink and green room. I loved my neighborhood. Most every memory I have in that house is happy because I was probably to oblivious to notice the bad stuff. (I am noticing I am pretty oblivious sometimes) So I went around playing dress up, playing on my porch with my cats, playing mail, barbies, church, etc. any game I use to play. So then Fr. Oscar said that the one person I did not want to see walked through the door. It was this very dark figure who represented the devil to me. Why was the devil walking through my room? I was praying into it when I realized that he is the reason for all my sin...I can blame no one for the sin I have fallen into, not a single person who walked through the door before him. It was a really cool thing to realize because I can change myself but I can't change another person. Knowing that I do not have grudges towards anyone is so nice and knowing that I am not the same person as I was even 6 months ago comforted me. Falling into the devils temptations were so easy for me before I surrendered my life to God and now it is not so easy for him. Praise GOD!!!

Alright so I am going to start something new....Each blog I am going to recommend a book, or song, or something to you! So today I want to recommend the band Gungor and the song "We Will Run to You." SOOOO GOOODDD!!!! I love running to this song. It is 9 minutes long and has an amazing instrumental. I find that instrumental music helps distract me when I am running. It takes me to a better place until I reach my running high!

Prayer Request: Please pray for Chris and Erik (my missionary brothers) who are in Haiti right now and Stephen and Tim who will be going on tuesday! Pray for the people of Haiti as well who have created a permanent home in my heart! HOPE!!!!

1,000 Years Later

2010-03-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

I am studying/ reading through Deuteronomy. I have been wanting to get into the Old Testament and I felt called to start here. It's amazing to me how thousands of years later I can still relate this book to my life and the world we are living in today. Moses' people were called out in order to be blessed by God and then sent into new lands to testify and proclaim God's name and to honor Him above all things and to not make pagan idols of animals or manly statues. But how often do we see that in our world today? People making idols of money, cars, jobs, celebrities, and shaming God's name in the process. People make idols of anything and sometimes place it higher than God in their opinion but in Deut. 4:24 it says, "For the Lord your God is a devouring fire, a jealous God." He is not going to just back down. He wants us all for Himself and He created us and freely gave His love, son and redemption to us. The least we can do is honor Him with our lives and hold Him about anything else. The least we can do is receive His blessings with open arms and share His love with all we come in contact with. As a missionary God calls me to new and foreign lands (could just be Atlanta) just like the people of Egypt to share His love. I say YES to the call! My heart gets fired up when I think about the radical love it will take for secular worldy people to have a conversion of heart. Watching God move in such a way is a miracle.

Lord, I praise you and thank you for your jealous love that has pulled me away from the ways of this world so many times but continues to love me.

Deut 7:6

This book is sooooo amazing and I can still relate to it today. God is always relatable!

Dependence on Him

2010-02-25T10:28:00.000-08:00

LifeTeen missionaries agree to living by a rule of life structured around St. Benedicts way of life. We read a different rule every morning during morning prayer in order to meditate on them and see how we are implementing them in our lives. Yesterday our rule was "Glorify God in our Dependence on Him." Each rule has one if not more bible verses and little instructions. I have heard this rule probably five times before this but yesterday it reall struck me because of my Lenten desire to completely surrender to Him and lose my life. I want to share what the rule says with you guys:

“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass of the field which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ Or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’ All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides” Mt 6:25-33.
God is worthy of our trust. He desires complete dependence on Him. God does not ask for more of us, he asks for all, for everything. He is our everything. We are committed to depend on God with our worries, our finances, our fleshy desires, our passions, our attitudes, our fears, our joys and all that we are.

We can and should rely on God for EVERYTHING! He will provide us with all we need. I am a missionary completely relying on His providence for me to survive day to day and honestly majority of the time I feel VERY spoiled. I am showered everyday with His love, in my prayer, in my community, in my prayer partners and benefactors, in all that surrounds me. I am comforted by the Consoler not only when receiving consolation but even in the suffering because Joy is in my heart. I never go hungry. I have a warm bed with a roof over my head in a perfect trailer. I have a family that loves me and is constantly supportive and praying for me. I experience His glories revealed everyday because my eyes are opened to recognizing Him in everything. True joys come from His love not from material things and when we depend on Him, He will provide us with those joys. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

Real Quick Glory Story

2010-02-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

Okay so as you know we have been teaching each other in our formation classes. Yesterday Paul taught about evangelization (the Church's mission) but instead of teaching he sent us out! We were to go out to Clayton and pray with people. Paola and I were partners and the whole way down the mountain we were just asking God for boldness and for divine appointments. We went first to the Family Dollar where we met Sarah. She is probably 90 years old and was buying fake flowers to make arrangements at her house. She was so sweet and let us pray with her right there in the store. She told us that she wanted to go on mission to Haiti! A 90 year old woman wants to bring love and prayer to these people and so should we! We also went to CVS and Home Depot where we met some skeptics who quickly backed away when they heard "missionary" and "prayer" but we perfectly fine asking us if we knew where hoses for water heaters were located. Um no... so Paola and I just said a quick prayer for them.
So we still had thirty minutes and we were wondering where to go to pray with people. I immediately thought of the RaceTrac gas station because if you walk up to people while they are pumping gas they can't run away! (I know we cornered them but we really wanted to love on people!) So we walk up to the first guy, Tony Flores, (yep same last name as Paola) and began by introducing ourselves and asking if he needed prayers for anything. He said no but we later learned that he has a son who is a missionary in LaGrange, Georgia, he has an adopted grandson from Guatemala (same as Paola) and he works with the Census Bureau (he offered us jobs on the spot for both being bi-lingual). I think Toni needed a lot of prayer even if he didn't think so. Prayer does not just have to be in times of dire need. God is ALWAYS listening and as the gospel this morning said, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open to you."
After we said goodbye to Toni, who really needed to get back to Atlanta, we sat back in the car and were trying to decide if we should go or wait for one more person. We decided to wait and God called us to Tracy. Tracy got out of her car and her sweet father went inside to pay for the gas. We walked up to Tracy and introduced ourselves and asked if we could pray for her for anything. She immediately got so excited. She couldn't believe that two young girls were actually at a gas station just wanting to pray and love on people. She immediately started telling us about her mom who just had knee surgery so she went to pick up her dad to go shopping. Her dad suffers from alzheimer and is slowly fading. She asked us to pray for continued strength for her to love her parents in their time of most need. SO SELFLESS! She was so thankful and then she said, "You know I ALWAYS go to Ingles to get gas but for some reason my father insisted we come to RaceTrac. God was leading me to you guys. Thank you for your prayers and your love." WOW GOD!!!! She NEVER goes to RaceTrac and we just happened to be there...God of the details or WHAT!? Divine appointment or what?!

The other missionaries had some amazing encounters too. Hayley and Sara prayed with a woman in a liquor store and another one in a lingerie shop who both cried and were so thankful. We are called to Love people with Christ's love. How often do you have the opportunity to encounter people each day and to pray with them and to love them? Everytime you walk into Wal-mart, a restraunt, a school...smile at someone. See how their day is going. You never know what a simple selfless gesture will do for someones day. Ask God for divine appointments in your day.

Thank you God for making us bold, for giving us strength that is so beyond our abilites.

Sunny Days!

2010-02-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

This weekend was by far the most beautiful weekend I have seen since being here (well maybe not but it had no ice or snow so that was good). Covecrest hosted three amazing groups this weekend, Prince of Peace, Korean Martyrs, and St. Thomas Aquinas. God blessed me in so many ways this weekend. For the past week I guess, we have been talking about joy and how it is a choice and what really makes us joyful. Before I became a missionary I probably would have thought a yummy meal, nice cozy bed, a good movie, etc. made me joyful and happy but as time goes on I realize those things all fade. I want joy that lasts and this weekend God showered me with so many experiences that brought me joy that will never fade.

To begin, my sister Rebecca has an amazingly beautiful soul. For about a year now I have been witnessing her faith grow into more then just a sunday obligation but into a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Everytime she blogs or tells me about an encounter she had with God, I start crying. It makes me so joyful!!! And the feeling will never fade. Rebecca, continue to let your life be God's song...you make Him proud EVERYDAY!

I was also able to encounter so many wonderful people this weekend. (People bring me lots of joy) Deacon Nick Johnson, who went through training with my dad, was here this weekend. I have not seen him in so long but he is always fun to be around. It was great to hang out with him and catch up. I was also able to watch the Korean Martyrs rap the Our Father and to go to mass with them. YES, in Korean! I love being part of such a Universal Church!!! They sang the Our Father so beautifully.

This was the third weekend that St. Thomas Aquinas has been here this year. They had a little bit smaller of a group so I was able to get to know some of the core members better. They probably come in second favorite to the SJN core! They really do have a strong group in service for the Lord to give glory to him everyday! It's such a blessing to be a witness to it. And I found out that they are all diehard Lost fans! YEAH!!! We were all discussing our theories...only 14 episodes left!

The missionaries were able to be outside all day on Saturday working on the mountain biking trail for summer camp. I had yet to work on the trail and I really prayed that morning that I would find some joy in doing that work project (I'm not a big fan of pruning and gardening so I was not too excited about this mountain biking trail) but it ended up being such a beautiful day and a lot of fun. The Benzinger boys all came out to help and it was fun to watch Chris take down a tree single handedly (sp?) hahah what a macho! I really missed Mark and Sara this weekend though because they were away on a job interview and discernment retreat!

Finally, if you do not know my sisters and I are training for a half marathon at the end of April. I was able to have some really enjoyable runs this weekend because the sun was shining so beautifully.

All in all these experiences all brought me so much joy and non of them were material things. They won't fade. They will be in my memory forever! WHAT BLESSINGS God is showering on me so simply. I just need to open my eyes more because blessings and joys like this happen everyday.

"When your blessings become burdens something in you needs to change"

Prayer Requests: Pray for the Benzingers to find a moral Haitian Lawyer to help with the adoption.

LENT!!

2010-02-18T13:40:00.000-08:00

The days leading up to lent were becoming fewer and fewer and I still had no idea what to do for Lent this year. There are the usual sacrifices of sweets and soda but conviction of the love God has for us calls me to more.
Last year for Lent I was in Spain studying abroad. Those forty days were probably the most beautiful of my life. I began to go on dates with God (walks in the parks, coffee, etc.). I read Hid Word more. I went on a pilgrimage to Fatima, walking 20miles through the beautiful countryside of Portugal with 700 young adults and only 3 who spoke english. I experienced mass in 5 different languages. I spent Holy Week in Rome and had stantions of the Cross with the pope on Good Friday. He was showering His love upon me and I received it with open arms. I fell in love with Him and truly realized it was because He loved me first.
I had no idea what He would want for me this Lent. He has been drawing me deeper into His love and romancing me for the past year, but I know there are always ways to go deeper.
So Lent began yesterday and I still was praying into these forty days, these days of preparation. This morning in the Gospel reading Jesus spoke so clearly to me what this Lent (and the rest of my life) would hold for me. God showered me with His love last Lent and it is now my turn to respond.
Luke 9:23-24 says, "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it."
I am losing my life. I am returning His freely given love by freely giving myself to Him. I will choose DAILY to take up my cross and to surrender to His will for my life. I have not stopped smilig today about the thought of losing my life to Him (whose hands could be better?) A complete surrender. A complete dying to self. It makes so much sense that this is what He is calling me to do not just for these next forty days but everyday. Mark Hart pointed out today in our conference call that Luke's Gospel is the only one that says DAILY take up your cross. This is my journey and hopefully all of our journeys to DAILY pick up our cross and follow Him. I want to die more to myself everyday so that I can live more for Him.

Suggestion: read "Fullfillment of all desire" by Ralph Martin....SOOOO GOOD!!!

Prayer: Please pray for the Holy Spirit's movement of LIFETEEN that we can continue to be obedient and Docile to the Holy Spirit!

Uncomfortable

2010-02-18T13:34:00.000-08:00

If you would have seen me about ten days ago I would have probably seemed like of the most joyful people you had ever met but for these last te days I have been very grumpy and uncomfortable maybe even a little bitter. I was uncomfortable with my community, routine, prayer, etc. No one was doing anything particular, I was just really grumpy and I could not fight it. I began really praying into the mood when it laster more than 3 days and I realized it was not just hormones. I knew God was making me uncomfortable for a reason but I didn't know why. Probably 3 days later I heard Him say, "Kaitlin, only I can make you happy. Only I can fill and satisfy your heart." I realized by these words that I was relying way too much on my community and routine of life to make me happy. I wanted my brothers and sisters to bring me joy when in all truth ONLY God can give me those things. I needed to be relying on God more than I was because only He can fulfill my needs that humans unfortunately will never be able to. He had to make me uncomfortable for me to listen. If I was in complete comfort I would have probably never paid attention to the ways He was trying to make me realize that Happiness comes from Him. He had to pull me away from my comforts so that all I would have was Him to turn to. In all Truth and reality, HE IS ALL I NEED!!! Thank you God for making me uncomfortable.

Prayer Requests: My brother, Mark Kowalski's, mom has lupus and is unable to leave the house. Please pray for her healing and strength.

God is Love

2010-02-14T06:43:00.001-08:00

In formation we have begun a section where the missionaries are teaching each other. We were each assigned a certain topic considered as a Core Value to Life Teen and faith in general. I teach in two weeks on affirmation (hilarious because right before Chris assigned it to me I was telling the missionaries how awkward affirmations make me feel). This week Mark taught us about Love and Sara taught on Eucharistic Spirituality. They both did so amazing.

Mark talked about three major points: God is love, how we love God, and how we are to Love thy neighbor with God's love. 1 John 4:7-21 Here are some short points from his talk.

God is Love- 1 Cor. 13: 4-8- most people know this Bible Verse but it is explaining everything that God is because God IS LOVE! Why do we continually turn away from this Love? It is so amazing! God is NEVER finished which means LOVE is never finished. Love (God) is self-giving. He literally gave himself to us through Jesus. Shouldn't we do the same and give completely of ourselves?

Love of God- Be obedient and take up your cross. "Love is uniting of our will to God's" St. Therese...the closer we grow to Him, the more we desire to do His will and begin to loose our fears of what His plan may hold. This is exactly where I am in my journey with falling more deeply in love with Him. I am surrendering to His plans for my life and fear is no longer taking over. I am at peace with His control of my life because I am convicted of His love for me.

Love of thy neighbor- We cannot love our neighbor without loving God first. If you hate your neighbor then you hate God because God is in your neighbor. Choose to LOVE them because all people long to be noticed, accepted, and loved. It is also important to recognize that we can not love each other without first spending time with Jesus because otherwise we do not know what real love is (importance of my morning prayer). We can not create the feeling of love because it is a gift from God. I see so many people around me who think that they are in "love" but they think of love as just a feeling and when that feeling fades then they leave. But Love is so much more and greater than just a feeling that the world describes it as(Read Heaven Song). God longs for us to experience with each other the Love He shares with us. Accept His love and your ideas of Love with change. I have been convicted of such a truth in knowing His love that I love people in a completely different way. I look at my brothers and sisters souls and see how God desires them and so I long for them to grow closer to Him. I Love them where they are at with God's love pouring out from me because I do not have love to give them except through Christ. When we don't rely on God, we rely on humans who are not big enough to fill our needs. Love is not always easy. It comes with sufferings and hardships also know as the cross where we truly witness the difficulties of choosing to Love people even when we don't seem worthy. We must choose this love though. Jesus chose to wash Judas' feet even though He knew what Judas was going to do. Loving people gives them dignity. This idea reminds me of Stephen and Erik who are in Haiti right now. They went there with the sole purpose to love people and in loving them there are giving the people dignity.

"What really matters in life is that we are loved by Christ and that we love Him in return. In comparison to the love of Jesus, everything else is secondary. And, without the love of Jesus, everything is useless." Pope John Paul II

All they need is love!

2010-02-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

Wow so many things have been happening here at Covecrest for the missionaries. We had the youth ministers retreat, confirmation retreat, we went and visited the 8th grade classes we put retreats on for earlier this year, and we have begun to teach ourselves the Core Values. Mark taught us about Love on Wednesday and Sara taught us today about Eucharistic Spirituality. God really spoke through them and gave all of us a new incite on how God is Love and how we are called as Catholics to Be Eucharist. I really want to write blogs about those but today I feel very called to share our visits at the schools.

Back in October myself and seven other missionaries helped put on a retreat for the Holy Redeemer 8th grade class. Middle school retreats usually run a little different than high school ones. They need to be really high energy and a lot of interaction so needless to say I remember being very nervous going into that retreat on how to bring God to these pre-teens. But the retreat went great. The schedule went off without a hitch. The talks and small group discussions went well and I truly fell in love with those kids.

Fast forward to Monday when we went to visit them. Again I had that nervous feeling that they could care less that we were coming, "O just those missionaries again...sweet I get to miss class!" was what I thought they would be thinking. But God showed me just how HE brought himself into these kids lives! They were so excited to see us. Sara's group literally ran each other over to see who could get to her the fastest. I was blown away by how much they loved us. We met with our small groups and began talking about the retreat, what they liked and remembered. It was a really amazing and special time just to catch up with them. I asked if they remembered anything we talked about...blank stares. I thought to myself "why are they so excited to see us if they didnt even get anything out of the retreat?" But as we were leaving the girls would not let us go, some even cried and begged us to come soon. The boys wouldnt stop laughing and punching each other. I was so moved and I realized then that it did not matter what we said to these kids back in October but it mattered to them how we LOVED them. They felt LOVED by us. They remembered that LOVE and wanted to keep feeling it that is why they were so excited to see us.

God made us and calls us to LOVE. That is our sole purpose on earth because once we love with Christ's love everything flows from that. All these kids needed was LOVE and God worked through us to give them that!

I shared this thought with the missionaries in the car and we all kind of looked at each other and said "Do we even remember what we talked about? hahaha"

Rainy Tuesday

2010-02-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

Its a rainy tuesday up here in the mountains. Cold and wet days kind of make you want to crawl up in the double wide (my home) and watch a movie. Luckily today is our day off after a crazy weekend so I can do just that. This weekend we, the missionaries, hosted a confirmation retreat for 6 smaller parishes in the atlanta area who can not afford to do it themselves. It was so blessed but soooo tiring. I gave a talk on the gifts of the Holy Spirit on saturday night. I had a talk all prepared but when I met the kids, I just felt that my talk was relating enought to these kids. Hours before I gave the talk, I went and prayed for an hour in the chapel. God kept telling me to be vulnerable so I stood up in front of everyone and just started talking. The Holy Spirit truly flowed through me. I have no idea what I ended up saying but a lot of kids affirmed me afterwards so I guess the Holy Spirit did a good job!

Sunday night we spent the night at my house in atlanta and watched the superbowl! We stayed in Atlanta because we went to visit the 8th grades that we ran retreats for earlier this year in October. The visits were so blessed and although the kids are struggling with a lot of things, they couldnt stop hugging us and some of the girls even cried when we were leaving because they just loved having us around. I truly realized that these kids probably dont remember a thing we talked about in our talks (heck I dont even think the missionaries would remember what they talked about) but they do remember the way you LOVED them. That is why we are created to LOVE with Christ's love because people remember those feelings!

Prayer Requests: Pray for all teens preparing for Confirmation as well as all 8th graders preparing for high school.

Missionary Life

2010-02-05T11:39:00.001-08:00

Hiding JPII in the boys showers...later I had a snowman hidden in my shower on our 8 day silent retreat!

Work projects! We built a floor...I felt like extreme home makeover

Meals on Wheels...talking on Banana phones!

Megan and I

Prayer group in Mexico

Jesus' Temple

2010-02-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

I have been reading the book Irresistable Revolution for a while now and the other day something really struck me. My whole life I have heard the scripture that Jesus would tear down the temple and in three days rebuild it. It immediately makes me think of Jesus that His body would be alive again on the third day after His death and people would believe. But it is so much more than just the obvious that we all know happened. Jesus died and by His death we can now have eternal life. We were dead but on the third day He brought us all to life again when He rose from the dead. "Jesus dismantles as He redefines the temple as His body, as our bodies, the mystical body of the Church" (Irresistable 323). WE ARE HIS TEMPLES. Living, breathing temples...not buildings, not stones, not service halls, LIVING TEMPLES. Acts 17:24 says "God does not live in the temples built by human hands." We are reminded here that we are God's temples because the Spirit lives in us! As a Catholic every time I partake in the mass I am also a living temple of Jesus. I need to be presenting myself as Jesus' hands and feet and treat my body as a living temple for the Spirit.

"Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true."

Prayer Requests: Please pray for Rickey, my sisters father in law, He is being let out of the hospital but he was having some heart problems. Also please pray for my missionary brother Erik Martin and a good community friend, Stephen Smith, who are on their way to Haiti.

Called

2010-02-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been having this overwhelming desire to just Love people and tell them how much Jesus loves them. I try so hard to email and call people to keep everyone up to date on how God is moving but I find myself running out of time. I prayed about how God wanted me to share His love to all when majority of my time is in the mountain and in prayer. I feel very called to begin writing on this personal blog again. I love writing for the Life Teen blog but I feel like I need something to share my everyday occurences. God is always moving and I want to constantly be in recognition of it and not just keep it to myself but share it. I want to be able to write some of the things that I tell my missionary sisters at night. Just little things that God is revealing to me in prayer.

We have just recently started studying Pope Paul VI's Evangeli Nuntiandi (Evangelizing in the Modern World). The Pope writes about the churches call to spread the Gospel, to live the Gospel, to tell of the kingdom of God and Salvation, and I feel that this is my way to answer that call. "Those who received the Good News and who have been gathered by it into the community of salvation can and must communicate and spread it." I may not be able to have phone conversations with everyone or write emails to everyone but I still want to tell all of the Glory of God.
This morning in morning prayer the reading from Romans 8:18 said "The sufferings of the present are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed IN us, " not just TO us but IN us. He doesn't just show us, we take an active roll in His Glory. I want Him to use me to reveal His glory.
I might even use this blog as an outlet for struggles or a way to get prayer requests out. I just want to invite people into the mission, into the call to spread the Gospel, into God's glory!
It will be a way for me to discuss my own personal formation with what I am reading and glory stories from the people around me. A way to express everday life as a missionary and life living in community! I am constantly being reminded of His love so why not share it!

God, You are glorious and beautiful. I long to live everyday to bring You glory. Use me to reveal Your glory to those You desire.

Prayer Requests: David and Olguin, two orphans in haiti who might be adopted by the Benzingers (a family in my community in case you do not know them) Please Pray for Gods will to be done!

2009-11-16T09:44:00.001-08:00

www.lifeteen.com then click on Missions in the top right corner to check out my blog and all other missionaries! See how God is moving in all our hearts and truly forming us to be sent out for Him!!! God is Good!!

AND YEAH for ZOE!!!! I cant wait to see her again! I am so fortunate that I was able to go for the birth and was able to witness the love between Rebecca and Zach! It was so beautiful and truly made my heart full of joy! Thank you God for family and the miracles we are able to experience together!

Trust Fall

2009-11-04T11:14:00.001-08:00

In formation we are reading the Return of the Prodigal Son, an amazing book that we are diving into and discussing how we each can relate to the Younger brother, older brother, father, and bystanders of the story and how we grow closer to God through the realization of the struggles we face in these characters. On the front cover of the book is Rembrant’s painting of the moment when the son returns to his father begging to be his servant because he is unworthy of being his son. How many times have we fallen to our knees begging for Gods mercy and then when we stand up we fall right back into our sin because maybe its comfortable or maybe we think we can leave “home” without leaving God. What is it going to take for us to fall to our knees and then lay our head on God’s chest to listen to His hearts desires for us? This is the question we discussed in formation today.
Flash back a couple days ago…after evening prayer I felt like I needed to stay in the chapel a little bit longer. I sat in the chapel alone and just began to cry. God had been placing trust on my heart so much lately and I did not understand. I thought I was being vulnerable and trusting my community and Him by sharing my struggles and what had gone on in my life to lead me to this missionary year. I was being open about my past and trusting that no one would judge me. God was not calling me to trust Him with my past…its the PAST…it cant be changed…He wants me to fully trust Him with my future! It may seem obvious to some people but I guess I was not always trusting Him with every part of my future just when I came to Him in prayer about something. So in formation today I came to an understanding that I really need to be trusting God with it all, stop thinking about what I want or what makes me comfortable and my doing that I also need to be trusting my missionary brothers and sisters that they will help me grow in that Trust. Now comes to the title “Trust Fall”…I have never done the trust fall (if you do not know what it is, you stand on a platform maybe four feet off the ground, with your back to all the people who are going to catch you, and then you just fall back and pray they catch you. SCARY I KNOW)…I was never even able to get on the platform without sweating and shaking and breathing hard…but for some unknown reason I mentioned that doing the trust fall might be a literal and physical step to me trusting my brothers and sisters and God…trusting that they would care enough to catch me. After the words came out of my mouth I wish they had the capability of going right back in because Paul immediately goes “Lets do It!” and so began the heavy breathing, sweating, shaking, o and the walk to the trust fall….ugh…along the way we ran into David who of course wanted to join in on the fun :/ but I felt better about having another set of arms there. Thanks God for that comfort! We reached the platform and I climbed up (it felt higher then ever before), everyone is telling me their advice and I knew that I didn’t want to turn away. I really wanted to do this. I wanted to trust them and God. I began to have images of how they were not set up right or someone in the middle would sneeze and move their arms right when I was falling and SPLAT, mud and my back would make contact…So I quickly screamed “I TRUST YOU” and in unison they all yelled “TRUST US, FALL ON!” I closed my eyes, screamed, and fell back…It was over very fast and they just held me for a couple seconds, smooshed between the two sides of people, like a giant net. They did not immediately let go. But when they did, they made it seem like I had just accomplished running a marathon in 2 hours. They were really proud of me. At that moment I felt comfort and knew that they would walk with me on my journey to trusting God’s plans for my future, that they would hold me up and not let me go until they know I was ready…And that is exactly what God wants us to know. That He will hold us, smooshed to His chest, and never let us go.

THANKS Chris, Paul, JJ, Mark, David, Paola, Haylee, Sara, and GOD! You

Glory Stories

2009-11-02T05:37:00.001-08:00

Glory stories are experiences people have with God that completely give glory to His divine power working in our lives! Glory Story from St. Brigid's confirmation retreat...Elizabeth is a sophmore, beautiful, talented, sweetheart, everyone's friend...The first time I met her she was coming out of Confession (huge smile on her face)...She told Paola and I (who were waiting in line to go after her) that she had not been to confession in 8 years! We were so excited for her and we all began to jump and hug ha ha like little girls. Anyway to continue the Glory story, at the end of the retreat the group has a wrap session where everyone goes around and tells how God moved in their lives this weekend. Elizabeth stood up and said "Before this weekend I did not believe in God. I felt He had never done anything for me so I just cast Him aside. He was unimportant. Now I KNOW Him and have seen how He has been working in my life." GLORY GLORY GLORY!!!!! Ah, I love being able to experience these things! God is so good....so do you have any glory stories?! Share if you want...I love hearing them!

O and this other girl Chelsea came up to me and asked if I ever worked at High Harbour and I was thinking she was one of my LIT's or helpers of some kind...but NO she was my 9 year old camper and now she is in HIGH SCHOOL!!! I felt old...at 21!

God Bless

Kaitlin

HEY

2009-10-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

Hey...so I figured out my Lifeteen blog!!! WOO HOO I feel so official having something on the national website ha ha...anyway I will probably continue writing in both places but probably not the same things so check them both out!!!

St. Brigid confirmation retreat is coming this weekend so pray for them!!!

Kaitlin

www.lifeteen.com/missions

2009-10-27T19:25:00.001-07:00

John Chapter 6! AMAZING!!! Got me through a really difficult talk. The retreat has been going really well so thanks for the prayers. JJ was suppose to give a talk on the Eucharist but little did we all know that God had other plans for me. JJ got sick this morning and has been in bed all day hence I became the replacement through prayer for the talk on the Eucharist. But I could not have felt better about it. I LOVE the Eucharist probably because I love Jesus so much and it is Jesus. So I felt so great about being able to give a talk about something I am so passionate about. So why was it so difficult? Although the eighth grade is from a Catholic school half of the class is not Catholic therefore the talk was made a little bit more difficult. Through prayer though I felt God calling me to just be BOLD and to speak truth and that the Holy Spirit would flow through me so that through His words spoken through me, He would be able to reach the heart of every child. And the response was phenomenal so thanks for your prayers. Majority of my small group is Baptist and they just had such a great response to the talk.

Remember "we are meant to embrace no just accept it"(needtobreathe)...EMBRACE the truth that God has given us do not just accept it!!!! Dive into it each day in prayer and in His Word. That is truly what I have been able to do with the Eucharist. I have never had trouble believing in the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist but recently I have been able to EMBRACE that truth and it has made Mass and Adoration that much more beautiful for me. So EMBRACE the truth God has given to each of us in our faith!!!

SHOUT OUT TO CARRIE ON HER 22nd BIRTHDAY!!! I CAN"T BELIEVE IT!!! (I feel like we say that every year, but knowing someone for their whole life is something to be amazed about :)

Holy Family Pray For US!!!

Kaitlin

God is so good!!!

Set Free

2009-10-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

We are currently in the middle of running our first retreat as the seven of us. Today was the first day and as of right now I am praying even harder then before for these kids. Our theme is "Set Free" meaning that through a relationship with God we can be set free from the burdens that weigh us down. We really came to the theme all in prayer because originally the theme was Mission Possible but we just felt that things needed to be changed. St. Mary's is only a group of 25 kids so we are in one of the smaller rooms at Covecrest to make it more intimate. The students are all really close and we had so much fun on the high ropes today but in small groups they are tending to be really shy or make things into jokes (which we were warned that they do). If you read this please be praying for their hearts to be opened more fully to hear and receive what God has for them. Also pray for our retreat team that we can continue to minister to them fully through the Holy Spirits direction.

Something really cool that I have been noticing throughout the planning these past few days and today is how much this is a retreat for the seven of us as well. We just got back from traveling to Boston, returning to our fellow brother and sister missionaries not being here, and automatically planning a retreat...needless to say we were barely able to breathe but God is blessing us through it. When I say this is a retreat for us, I mean that the seven of us are getting to know each other a lot better...good and bad...hahaha. We are sharing witness stories in almost every session about our lives and our struggles...things that some people are only opening up about for the first time. My brothers and sisters are being so vulnerable for these kids but also for the seven of us. If we are not able to be open and allow the Spirit to say what He wants then how do we expect the kids to be. I am falling more in love everyday with my missionary family even when we disagree. We are all striving to grow closer to God and are trying to maintain the idea to regard other people as more important then ourselves.

Completely different topic is that I am now a God Mother!!! Little Greg was baptized on Saturday. I feel so honored and special to be his God mother...that now I have a little piece of him forever (that might sound weird but its true). Its almost as if I have been given this shield to protect him from things ha ha ha....I dont know what Im trying to say hahah. But thank you Greg and Alyshia for listening to Gods will for your son and intrusting me with this important part of his life.

Becca is getting really close to having her baby too. She said she almost sent herself into labor while watching the Alabama Tennessee game.

Anyway please keep praying for me as I pray for you everyday.

Kaitlin

HEY!!!

2009-10-23T13:42:00.001-07:00

Hey okay so it might take me a little while to post about Boston because I have so much to say but I dont want to be rushed through it! So know a post is coming! God Bless!!!

NEW BLOG

2009-10-14T12:49:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
Okay so LIFETEEN has decided to give us our own blogs that you can check out right from the website...I feel legit! So I will not be using this blog anymore.

The link to the blog is www.lifeteen.com/missions

You will see EVERY Missionaries blog but if you click on my name (i dont have a picture yet) then it will take you directly to my posts. But its pretty cool that you can check out EVERYONES!

Eventually you will be able to just go to lifeteen.com and click on something that says MISSIONARIES but for now you have to go through the website above!

St. Francis

2009-10-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

Sunday we had the day off so went to Mark's (missionary) old church in Blairsville, St. Francis. They have Life Teen mass at 11 in the afternoon and then a "Life Day" instead of night. They have an amazing youth minister, Stephen Smith (father of Matt Smith for those Life Teen people). Stephen is such a loving man who is like a father to all. The whole church was so welcoming and we felt like it had always been our community. We (about 10 missionaries) were able to partake in the choir at mass, bearing of gifts, the chili cook off for life night, and adoration during the Life Night. The community just has the feel of God's hospitality that all churches should have running through it from the minute you walk in the door until you leave. After mass and life night we came back to Covecrest and SURPRISE my dad was here! We spent the rest of the day in prayer, eating, and showing him my house. Thanks dad for coming! I love you!

Pictures!

2009-10-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

Carrie and I at the ropes course! Drilling the plywood! We went back the next day to lay the tile! It turned out beautiful and I totally felt like Trading Spaces!

Work Project! We rebuilt Catherine's floor...I measured and Maria cut. I used the powertool once and decided I would rather measure!

The four Covecrest girls

Sara, Paola, Haylee (my roomie) and ME

So a tradition that last years missionaries started was to hide this statue of JP II in funny places! They received it as a white elephant gift. So far the girls started and hid it in the boys shower. Next the boys hid it in Paola's bed (paola is in the pic with me) and they also hid St. Francis in our fridge! He looks kind of creepy in there but we have yet to remove him ha ha ha

Our Kitchen!

Our Living Room

Haylee and I's room...I had yet to decorate yet...

These past two days Queen of Angels has been here so the other retreat team has been working with them while my retreat has been doing random work projects around camp! I LOVE DIGGING!!!! I came to this love because I did not want to organize a pantry and remove mice so In opted to work with the guys and move furniture and dig ditches. We have had to dig this four foot deep hole to build a wall and protect pipes from freezing in the winter! I have gotten to use a chain saw and hammer in these intense nails! I love it! I have had so much fun and everytime we dig something we offer it up for another teen to hear the word of God...my arms are really sore but I am ready to go again tomorrow! Cant wait to show you all the wall when you come to Covecrest!

I have also gotten to push a couch over the side of a balcony and it was perfectly fine so later we took a sledgehammer to it and destroyed it. I have also had to help get a van out of the mud while David, Mark, and Tim were getting very muddy ha ha. Thank God for all the beautiful weather!!! We only have one more week of all of us being together and then we go to BOSTON!!! I am very excited about my teams roadtrip to Boston but asking God to prepare my heart to say goodbye to my fellow missionaries who will go to Mesa and Germany.

KEEP PRAYING PRAYER PARTNERS!!! I am praying for you everyday! Send intentions if you have any :) And I would ask you to pray for my family as we are preparing to welcome a new memberin a month :) !!!!! And just for all of our vocations and discernments that we are going through :) God Guide my family to be an image of your holy family to all those we meet!

Kaitlin

Catherine

2009-10-05T13:36:00.001-07:00

So much has been going on in the past three days. Saturday was my desert day. It was really nice to just have some time all to myself but I was really struggling with whether or not I should go home on Sunday for my sisters baby shower. I know being a missionary part of the way of life is having to sacrifice some things and not be able to go to every event. I prayed about it really hard and talked to some people who all said I should def. go. So I decided to go which ended up being such a great decision! Rebecca was sooooo happy to see me and I was so glad I could be there for her and see my family for a bit. I was also able to stop by and see Little Greg Koerner who was born wednesday (right as I was giving my God Is Love talk) and Alyshia and Greg asked if I would be his God Mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have not stopped smiling and praying that God will equip me with all the graces needed to lead this little man into discipleship! He is so precious and I just cant wait to watch him grow!

Today my retreat team was able to go do some community out reach in Lake Mount. We went to a ladies house named Catherine whose floor had collapsed and it had been that way for about two years and she couldnt get anyone to help her. We went there and Extreme Home Makeovered her kitchen! It was awesome. We ripped out cabinets and leinolium (really wrong but o well) flooring. Then Maria and I measured and cut all the plywood (with powertools) while mark, sara, ruth, and tim secured them all into the floor with their drills! It was so fun and we all worked together to really bring the floor together nicely. We are going back tomorrow to lay the new tiles down for her. We were just able to sit and talk with her a bit too which was nice. She has helped create over 17 fire stations up here in the Tiger Georgia area. She is a great woman of God and she was as much a witness to us as we were to her. She has led an incredible life thus far and I am sure will continue to do so.

The second retreat team begins their retreat on Wednesday with Queen of Angels so please be praying for them that the Holy Spirit will just rain down in them, calm their nerves, and help them to spread God's love to all those they will encounter!

Alright I need to go get my laundry that has been in the laundry room since yesterday morning :)

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21
Psalm 100

So many updates!

2009-10-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Wow I have a lot to talk about since it has been so long since I have blogged!

Tuesday: Tuesday was spent planning alot for the retreat for Holf Redeemer 8th grade. My group really wanted to put on a powerful skit and perform it the next day but nothing seemed to be working out. We took a break from planning because tuesday nights are family dinner nights and also it was the feast day of the Archangels which we celebrated to the fullest with cupcakes and balloons! I also cooked Swiss Chicken for about 12 people and it turned out sooooo good and everyone loved it!!! Anyways we had the celebration and asked Fr. John Welch, who was in town for the week, to say a blessing over us so that all would go well. We went back to the lodge to practice and the skit came together in about five minutes!!! God is soooo good!

Wednesday: Holy Redeemer arrived around 10:30 for the retreat to begin. For those of you I was not able to tell, I was the host for the whole three days. I wasnt nervous about it but I really had no idea what to say but the Holy Spirit just poured through me and He had a lot to say ha ha. Our them for the retreat was Mission Possible...Gospel of Mark "All things through God our possible" For our entrance we were all dressed in all black and hiding in random places all around the room. We set of a zipline in the main lodge for us to make real secret agent entrances as we as two people belayed from the ceiling, one floating down like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible!! It was really cool. I also gave my talk later that day and it went really well. It was the first time I probably ever left a talk not wishing I had remembered to say something. Praise God! '

During all this I was trying to keep my phone near or around me so that I could know when Little Greg arrived!!! He arrived right as I was giving a talk all about God's Love and wow what could be more of God's love then a new born baby!!! Congrats Greg and Alyshia...he is beautiful and I cant believe he is finally here!!! Makes me even more excited to see my new niece or nephew!!!

Thursday: Retreat continued...We had mass ourside and the kids really enjoyed that a lot. These kids were just awesome and really opened to just letting us shower them with Gods love. Before the retreat even began, my team prayed a lot about what our focus should be about. In our prayers many of us were revealed to that we needed to Build up their relationships with God and their families. These boys and girls were just so open to letting us pray over them and help them through their brokenness! God works wonders and I truly love being able to be a witness to it everyday! It was really funny because when we were offering confession EVERY kid went running to get in line and I mean literally running towards Mike's Place porch to talk to the priest! They were being greedy for the sacraments which is so AWESOME! We also had adoration that night and it was many of their first times...but WOW God was good...Fr. John placed his hands on the monstrance so the kids could come up and touch it...they all did and you could just see some of them shaking and crying and being so thankful to touch Jesus!

I was also able to FINALLY talk to Kara after being here for almost three weeks!!! She truly knows what it is to feel Gods love and what it means to yearn for it too...so it was really nice to be able to talk to someone who has always been a huge support of my walk with Jesus!

Friday: Everyday we as missionaries have a holy hour at 7:15, then morning prayer (about thirty minutes) and then we go eat breakfast but today we were going to have mass after morning prayer....we invited the kids to come if they wanted to. A lot of them showed up for holy hour and prayer but they were all there for MASS!!! And it was a beautiful mass...our singing rang from every corner of that chapel out to the whole camp!!! I loved it! We also prayed over every child in our small groups about whatever they needed prayers for. Please Please Please pray for families all over!!! That they can find and put Christ at the center of their families! So many of these kids have families that are troubled and could really use some prayers to remember the Holy families model!!! The kids were able to share about themselves and how God moved them this weekend...and I was in tears! PRAISE HIM!! You can never put a limit on Gods might!!! I was actually really sad to see them go today! But I pray that they will do wonderful and glorious things through Christ when they get home!

Because the last week has been crazy stressful my team is getting a desert day tomorrow. Basically its a personal silent retreat day. Just me, my journal, my Bible, and God all day tomorrow!!! I am Sooooooooooo excited! I have really needed some personal time since we are always running around crazy!!!

Good songs: We had a girls session this week and we played this song for them "Why?" by Nicole Nordeman (sp?) watch a video on youtube while listening to it! Its really powerful

Our skit was to a song "Youre not alone" by Meredith Andrews...also very beautiful.

Anyways I think it is about time for evening prayer and movie night tonight!!!

Love always and Gods Blessings

Kaitlin

Phil 1:21

Home Cooked Meal!

2009-09-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

We had a homecooked meal tonight! It was so yummy and finally didn't make my stomach feel super bloated and full of air. A woman named Betsy Orr wanted to come and make us dinner tonight. She is from Buckhead and has recently had a conversion into the Catholic faith and longs to make a family retreat center somewhere in the north Georgia mountains. She loves Covecrest for many reasons. Her daughter, Corinne, son, kyle, and husband Larry also came with her. Her husband has an inopperable brain tumor but he is doing really well right now. Their children go to Pace and do not have school tomorrow due to the fact that its a Jewish holiday so they wanted to come spend the night. There were probably about 40 people at dinner and we played telephone! We have two non-native English speakers with us so it was really funny when some things came to them especially "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood." JJ is from Holland (he is staying in Covecrest) and his english is Amazing!!! But Ruth is from Germany and she just came over for two weeks to spend time with us because Life Teen has a group of missionaries going to her church in Germany. She speaks english very well also but does not know the tongue twisters. Both JJ and Ruth have been helping me learn some german and dutch. Who knows maybe God will call me to mission there (I would be terrified though so lets not put that in our prayers just yet :) Anyways I learned a fun little song in German but I dont know how to type it but it basically says " I am hungry hungry hungry, I am hungry hungry hungry, I am hungry hungry hungry, I am thirsty" Its what the kids in Ruth's youth group sing when they want dinner ha ha. Kalt (i think is the spelling) means Cold, warm is the same in both but the w sounds like a v, and I cant remember what else but its so fun because you all know how much I LOVE language! And you know how Americans sometimes think Germans sound angry...its because they use the deep back of their throat. Its so hard for us to make that noise because we dont use it! Anyways I think thats about it for now. Keep praying for the retreat with Holy Redeemer this wednesday-friday! I am giving a talk about Gods Love and when we were praying about it in adoration everyone felt that I was called to be the MC (well everyone except ME! but maybe I was just not wanting to hear it :)) So pray that the Holy Spirit fills me with words!

NIGHT!!!

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21

CHICKFILA and RAIN!

2009-09-26T12:44:00.001-07:00

all 21 of us went to Chickfila. We pretty much bumbarded (sp?) them...O and its raining again. Please be praying for me and my fellow missionaries; MArk, MAria, Ruth, Sara, Paul, and Miller...we will be putting on a retreat for 8th graders from Holy Redeemer next week. We are really praying for the Holy Spirits direction so that we can reach out to these young teens and show them Christ's love. We had a beautiful adoration this morning but continue to need guidance:)

I also made a trip to Wal Mart (which I have not missed but its all we have :/) I was able to pick up PUMPKIN BREAD!!! I am so excited to make it as well as some Swiss Chicken for our family dinner on Tuesday.

St. Oliver's is here for this weekend and they seem to be having a really good retreat. They have about 100 kids here. Amazing since it is high school football season and all.

I am now just enjoying my day off and listening to my roommate, Haylee, sing her songs that she wrote to God...so pretty and Praise God!!!

Alright I think thats about it for now

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21

Musicians Retreat

2009-09-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

Just so you know I am writing this in our office as we are all SINGING/SHOUTING O Holy Night...not pretty but hilarious

This week was filled with a lot of formation on Monday and Tuesday about Discernment and Intersession. Also Randy Raus came and spoke to us about the history of Life Teen and their hopes for the future and our roll in that. It was very inspirtational as most things are around here when we talk about our roll as Christ's hands and feet in the world. But what was really exciting this week was the Life Teen Musicians Retreat. Musicians arrived on Wednesday from all over the country and even Canada. Michael John Porier (?) was the host and he was amazing and so inspirational. At holy hour he played for three hours singing no songs that had ever been recorded just whatever came to his mind. BEAUTIFUL and spoke to everyones heart. Fr. J was also able to be here with us and we were able to have mass throughout the week. It was just so fun to talk to the musicians and hear their stories. We were able to partake in a lot they did. But the best part had to be last night...everyone gathered all their instruments and we jammed on the back porch of the lodge ALL NIGHT...Guitars, drums, mandolins, singers, tamborines...playing and dancing all over the porch praising God! I just stopped and listened sometimes and it was so beautiful the talents God had given everyone. We also played games, ate tons of candy, and just enjoyed each others company. I was playing Catch Phrase with some people and this guy, Russ from New Mexico, thought that the word was Christ so he said "Jesus" and we all yelled Christ and then he was like "um actually its the best part of a pizza" and I said Crust...we all could not stop laughing the buzzer went off before we stopped crying! I did not want any of them to leave today but we have to prepare for St. Oliver's to come this weekend! And hopefully the Youth Minister will bring my keys since I locked my copy in my car.

This morning I was able to go with Eric and Paul to deliver Meals on Wheels. We went to seven different homes. Majority of them were single and old and unfortunately in pretty bad positions. Those houses that you pass that seem condemned are actually some peoples homes up here. It was sad but it was so nice to serve them and we were even able to pray with some of them. My favorite was this lady who just welcomed the fifth generation to her family! She is 96 and her great great grandson was born four months ago. She was so funny and so excited.

I am still incredibly enjoying everymoment and feel so blessed each day. I see God in everything I do and its soooooo cool!!!! I am not too sure what else to write about today other then I am so excited because I have tomorrow off and I think I am getting Chickfila!!!! The food is kind of beginning to hurt me!

Thanks for joining me on this mission!!!

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21

P90X

2009-09-22T09:44:00.001-07:00

Alright so P90X is this workout that has this really creepy man leading you in INSANE excercises BUT us girls decided to start doing it. Last night was the first time and it was pretty much all push ups...yeah I don't do push ups and they were weird ones too. Anyways today is cardio so I hope I don't die!

O and the sun is shining!!!!

O and Matt Maher's new cd came out today so go get it! Its awesome!!!

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21

Floods Literally and Spiritualy

2009-09-21T13:55:00.001-07:00

So I have officially decided that I could probably never call Seattle home. This rain has not ceased for days. I have been looking at pictures from Gwinnett and I just can’t believe all the flooding. Both Saint John Neumann and Brookwood have experienced some flooding as well as the Connamara neighborhood near church. You are all in my prayers! I must say though, living in a double-wide during non-stop rain has begun to make things feel a little damp…poor ventilation.

The retreats this weekend went very well though so thanks for your prayers. We had St. Gabriel’s from Fayetteville and First United Methodist from Douglasville (which they probably should have stayed here since its all flooding down there). The Missionaries were able to feed so much off of their energy and in return the teens said they enjoyed our energy just as much and that they were really moved by our service to the Lord for a year. What an affirmation! On Wednesday the Life Teen musician retreat begins. All the praise and worship leaders from various churches all over the country are coming to retreat together. I must admit I am a little sad because Matt Maher usually leads this retreat but he won’t be this year L. But I am so excited to just have amazing praise and worship sessions and be rejuvenated!

I have been learning so many amazing things but I have been taking my time on blogging them because I want to make sure the messages are perceived the way God intends them and not impose anything on anyone. Everything I am going to blog about in this post will really be my response to the things I am learning during my formation periods but other people may have different interpretations. The Lord moves in many ways and I am so happy to express and witness to all of you through this blog. So the rest of this post may seem a little random and scattered but I just learned so many cool things. I hope you enjoy!

Being a missionary requires a lot of things; a calling to die to self, be comfortable with not knowing what’s next or having a schedule, intense prayer and giving up of many worldy treasures just to list a few. Lately we have been talking about our YES! We, the missionaries, have said YES to God calling us to missionary life without really knowing what we were going to be doing. Many people before I came up here always asked what my schedule would be or day to day would look like and I never could answer and I still couldn’t. Everyday is different but we should all be willing to say YES to God without necessarily knowing the details, just like Mary. Mary didn’t question God about how she would conceive without having sex or how she was going to care for this child. She said YES to God’s plan and walked in with Blind Faith (a marian virtue)…a thing many people struggle with because it can be uncomfortable…but I can tell you that from my experience it has been God-filled…I have not yet questioned God moving me here although the questioning may come. Saying Yes is not always the easy step but think about this advice...Once you say YES to God, all the pressure is on Him. Whatever He was calling you to it is His responsibility to reveal it to you, all you have to do is have an open heart to receive His glorious gifts! Pretty cool, huh? But you can’t think God works on our time either. It could take days or months for those gifts to be received but He will bless you for your YES to follow Him, love Him, trust Him! I thought this was good advice.

Something Chris Benzinger (our formation director/ runner of Covecrest/father/AWESOME) has been telling us is that God is totally showing off with this group of missionaries. None of us came in knowing how to build a community and yet the Holy Spirit has put a community together in less then a week. We are truly a close community already. God knew what He was up to when He picked the 25 of us for this missionary year. Even how He divided us up into our locations, Arizona, Covecrest, and Germany, is perfect. We are all able to laugh, cry, joke, share our brokenness and share the ways God is moving in our lives without hesitation, question or judgment. What a blessing! But with a community with a similar goal of growing closer to God, the enemy is going to try and get in wherever he can. Mortal sins are usually how he breaks in to our souls and begins pulling them but it’s a little different for me and my fellow missionaries and many other people seeking God. The devil is going to break us down by making us feel unworthy and he can do that in your lives too. He will make you feel that your prayer isn’t good enough or you should be at church more because you are not faithful if you aren’t. We can’t let these anxieties or fears pull us from Christ. Instead they are an invitation to draw closer into the arms of Christ because he wants to heal you from your anxieties and make you feel worthy because you ARE!

I really need to take a moment to thank all of my benefactors that are reading this blog. I am so close to your hearts even if you don’t realize; “For wherever your treasure is, there also your heart will be.” Matthew 6:21. And because of that you are being drawn even closer to God! Your support, prayers, and dedication to this mission is my first tangible proof from God working for me for this mission! Without you all this year would be impossible. You are constantly prayed for!

Alright these are just a couple of random things to consider and think about:
· Let personal prayer time be for God to draw you closer into His embrace- not to necessarily figure out all the mysteries of your life. Do not be afraid of the silences and begin your prayer by Praising Him! If you don’t know what I mean, here is an exercise. Write down what you refer to God as (Jesus, Lord, Father, etc.) then after that write “you are” and then list three adjectives you refer to God as (loving, all powerful, almighty, everlasting, etc.) Pray this and eventually you will start lifting up more adjectives and praise to God. This really opens your heart to the Holy Spirit and we are called to praise the Giver of all gifts!
· He created us all for great intimacy with Him. God is intimately concerned about every detail of our life (I can’t think of a single man who would ever Love me that much!!!).

O and this is a really cool thing for us Catholics! When making the sign of the cross, when you are moving from shoulder to shoulder, imagine that you are crossing yourself out and fully giving yourself to God during your prayer! It can help you to not only think of yourself in prayer time! I thought it was a pretty cool thing J

Anyways I think that’s about it for now…I know it was really long but this is a couple days worth of stuff. Hopefully I will be able to have a little bit more free time to blog more often but WHO KNOWS!!!

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21

Rain Rain Rain

2009-09-18T11:11:00.001-07:00

It has been raining so much up here which has just made a luciously green place even greener! I love waking up to the fog over the mountains or well I guess I should say I love seeing the fog over the mountain after I get done with my morning Holy hour and prayer...its dark when I wake up :)...Anyways the boys come back today. They were camping about an hour from here (in all the rain :/) Hope no one got sick. So the girls have some down time today until the boys return and we prepare for a crazy weekend with two church retreats coming up. I am so excited about the first retreat weekend! Please pray for the groups that are coming, One is First United Methodist and St. Gabriel. Pray that the Holy Spirit will come and fill their hearts this weekend and bring joy and comfort to their hearts and that they will truly experience Gods presence here and when they return home (run-on much?)

We had a great day yesterday. We fell deep into prayer with our seperate mission teams and prayed over each one. We were asked to express what our heart is truly feeling right now. I asked for a more openness in my prayer and that I will truly know when it is God speaking to me or me just putting ideas in my head. My new sisters had such beautiful things to pray over me...the Holy Spirit worked wonders!!! And when I was called to pray over my sisters I could truly tell the words were not coming from me. I couldnt even tell you what I said ha ha but it was such a beautiful experience. Then the four of us just sat around and talked about God and his gifts and how this life is not truly ours. It is a gift He gave us and we should want nothing more then to live it for Him (so easy to say)...we had to make commitments to each other for the year and we all commited to being accountable and making sure we are bringing each other closer to Heaven. We should all be striving to bring our loved ones, friends, anyone we come in contact with closer to our resting place with Jesus. So think about your actions...are they bringing you or those around you further or closer to heaven?

This morning My mom sent me a message to say have a great day...I told her I was on my way to holy hour and morning prayer and she responded saying "Make a joyful noise"...so beautiful...MOMMY I am so proud of you and everything you are doing with your life! Anyway, in Morning prayer the Psalms and gospel were all about being Happy in God and praising, rejoicing, and being joyful in the Lord. We go around and share what spoke to us during prayers afterwards and I talked about being joyful in everything God does for us today. Be joyful that you eat breakfast or get to impact a childs life or routine. But we must remember to be joyful in our suffering too. If someone we know dies be joyful that God gave you the chance to know this person...if you lose a job be joyful that God has a better plan for you...God LOVES when we express our praise, happiness and joyfullness...Just think about How happy you make Him when you are praising and smiling and happy even in your sorrows because it shows your trust and love for Him which is all He asks. I can picture Him with a pretty stinkin big smile on His face.

Kaitlin
Phil 1:21

First 3 days

2009-09-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

I sit here with my coffee/hot chocolate blaring Matt Maher in my new "office" a.k.a room B in the lodge and I have no idea where to begin. 3 days have had such an impact on my life already. God is moving and is always doing.

Arrival: I arrived to my new double wide (probably the prettest one EVER) to two of my roommates; Paola and Haylee. Haylee is my actual roommate and Paola is across the hall. So my room is perfect other then I really did not think I would have space to put anything up anywhere but I do so I need to have some pictures brought up to me. Anyways the double wide is beautiful and Molly (not a missionary but staff who lives with us) decorated it for us perfectly :) ...I will put pictures up when I get my camera from home (sorry I was really excited to get here so I forgot a lot). So I just unpacked and talked to my new roommates/sisters for a while...deep immediately...I LOVE LOVE LOVE being able to talk about God even when it has to do with decorating, nature, a double wide, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING!!! Then we went for dinner. Good ole Covecrest spaghetti :) Then we all sat in a circle (meaning all missionary members about 25 of us) and talked about how God led us to this moment, to this mission, to this community. I can't tell you how beautiful it was to hear my new families journeys with God. I did not want it to end...BUT I HAVE A YEAR!!!

P.S. Pray for Miller, one of the missionaries, his mom is converting from Buddhism to Catholicism, GOD MUCH!?!?! If you can't tell I am so overjoyed

Moving on...we then had night prayer...The next day we woke up at 7:15 for holy hour and there was a group in town so we were able to have mass. Unfortunately mass wont be everyday because there wont always be a priest on sight but there was Tuesday. After mass we had breakfast, then our first class/ way of life course. Then the girls all packed up and left for a lakehouse to have a night to get to know the women and our new sisters. AMAZING!!!
We talked about what our hearts were feeling about everything because women are all heart and God wants it to be filled with love for Him. Its amazing to me that we are all beginning this year as missionaries but all our hearts are in different places. In morning prayer God was just making me feel that my heart was NEW...whatever I have done the past 21 years that has been holding me back from loving Him doesn't matter...New beginnings, New Birth, JUST NEW! Clean slate...I feel kind of reborn and its glorious! I know I have such a long way to go before I know, trust, love, completely but I WANT it so bad so PLEASE be praying for me!!! And I am exactly where I am supposed to be; yearning for nothing but to Love Him.
The next day we had an amazing breakfast (pancakes and bacon) and then began to talk about what made us nervous and what we were most excited about. But really the afternoon season was the most moving. As missionaries we have made a promise to the single life for the next year and Michelle and Melissa (the moms of Covecrest) really wanted to stress to us the importance of staying focused only on our relationship with Jesus. What really spoke to me about it all though was our Longings need to be brought before God. Whatever I am longing for/need I need to bring before Jesus and not anyone else. He will help me through everything.

Tonight the boys made us an amazing dinner. We have not really gotten to know the boys very well but again I have a whole year.

I am so excited to be a witness to you all and that you are all taking this journey with me:) Please let me know your prayer requests kbyrne115@gmail.com.... i pray for everyone by name and intention. I do not know how frequent I will be able to blog. Our schedule for this month is a little different because all three mission sites, Arizona, Germany, and Covecrest are all here till the middle of October:) And the phone is probably even less likely for me:) It is there and I have time but I really have had no desire to spend my time on the phone rather then sharing with my sisters/prayer/or even sleeping!

I hope this finds you all in a good place...

so far I have realized my days will be
7:15 am Holy Hour
8:15 Morning prayer
then breakfast when ever we complete morning prayer
Class/work project/ whatever else till lunch
We also have evening prayer around 5, then dinner
Night prayer at 9:30 with just our houses....so girls with girls, boys with boys

LOVE AND PRAYERS: Phil 1:21

Kaitlin

ALL Glory to God!

O yeah my roomies

Haylee: 19, went to Marist, beautiful heart, guitar player (going to teach me), so outgoing
Paola: 25, nurse, spanish speaker, missionary to Ghana, loves the Lord so humbly
Sara: FSU grad, meek and humble, HILARIOUS, CONVERT at 16 (I love converts:)
Molly: Louisana, mother figure, beautifully blessed,

They are all going to be amazing sisters and people to walk through my whole life with:)

HEY

2009-09-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

alright I am about to run to evening prayer but I just wanted to get this up and running!!! Tell people who are not on my email list that this is up :) Well that is if they want to read it!!!

LOVE YOU ALL and you are in my prayers
KAitlin